So I went to Out in the Park yesterday, a local gay pride celebration. I've been before, though usually with my sister. I've never felt out of place there before, well before now.
This time I wasn't there with my sister, she was off visiting an ex-girlfriend. This time I was there with my girlfriend. Most of the time things were fine, we were with her daughter and her daughter's girlfriend, and my most awesome friend Stephanie.
As my girlfriend and I were leaving, though, I could feel the thoughts of the people we passed. "Look at the straight couple hanging out with us." My girlfriend and I are both pansexual, so the feeling I was getting was certainly unwarranted. Later I asked her about it and she said she was getting the same feeling as I was.
I've finally reached a point where I've decided to be totally open with people about my sexuality and now because I've found joy in the company of a woman I'm made to feel out of place within my own community. It's bad enough dealing with people who should be supportive telling me that I'm really just gay and don't want to admit it, but now I'm not even acknowledged as being a part of my own community.
I shouldn't have to wear a sign to be acknowledged for who and what I am. With all the misunderstanding and misconceptions about the whole LGBT community from the outside, the last place I should be made to feel as though I have to prove myself is within it. Alas, that is how I feel, how I've always felt.
I don't need the acceptance of others in order to feel good about who I am, but it would be nice to be supported from within the group of people who have been fighting to be accepted for the same reasons I am... I just want to be free to love who I love without being judged for it. Just like everyone else.